The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? seats. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. Carnac the Magnificent Wikipedia Republished // WIKI 2 She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. A: An unmarried woman. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the A: Superbowl. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. "Knickerbocker"Q. Box 4, Folder 46. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. The Question: Name three famous puppets. A: Mr. Coffee. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . Box 4, Folder 45. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." Favorite Carnac(sp?) Joke "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . A: Last Tango in Paris. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. A: Touchback. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. A: Mop and Glow. A: Beethoven's Fifth. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Amazon.com: Carnac Hat Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Comedic Curses - Google Groups After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. A: 60 Minutes. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. . Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? girlfriend. A: Shake-N-Bake. A: The Sugarland Express. Carnac The Magnificent undated. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. . Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. work? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? carnac the magnificent Memes & GIFs - Imgflip A: Buddy Holly. Related Topics. Towering Inferno. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. A: Skalliwags. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com A: Chariots of the Gods. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. No more years! Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. 99 $28.11 $28.11. Carnac: App Reviews, Features, Pricing & Download - AlternativeTo A: The CIA. Here's how it played out on air. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. A: Crabgrass. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." The Answer: They found no brain activity. A: Zippo Marx. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. A: Bi-focal. [applause]. A: A full moon One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? (Crowd cheers) #10. A: Old wive's tale. Return to Political Humor Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's A: "Small craft warning!" In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. The segment included several running gags. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? grenade? Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? A: Ironware. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! hope chest. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. puppies and red-eye gravy. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. A: 2001. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. Forum Novelties. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Description. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? . So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carson Caucas 1984. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? A: The Loch Ness Monster. The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? A: Double trouble. . promises. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat . "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. (croud cheers) #10. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. "You Light Up My Life.". The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. doctors. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. A: The American people. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. A: Roots. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy . CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). Johnny Carson Tonight Show script collection 2630 "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? a #2 mayonnaise [1] No more years! Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. A: Disjoint. A: 50 miles per hour. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? kaleido? CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? The answer was always an outrageous pun. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing The funny story above is a satire or parody. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. The Answer: Become a professional politician. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your . ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. ED: Certainly worth waiting for but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these Key'n'Stroke. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Sacred Marvels: 17 Cathedrals That Will Take Your Breath Away, In I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a The character was introduced in 1964. Watch now: Free with ads. nowadays. A: David Frost. Q: Name two rams and a goat. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? toilet is stopped up? Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. A: Eight is enough. dee? Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. A: Sex. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php A: Once is not enough. Carnac the Magnificent. A: Damnation Alley. A: Ultra-conservative. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? Margaret's door? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Previous. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Q: Who ruined that darn rug? He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. A: Fort Knox. Funny Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson Quotes May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? . Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. hair". Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. . Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a A: "Here's Boomer." Q: Name a Kristofferson. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". It is entirely fictitious. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. Hilarious Carnac the Magnificent Puns - Punstoppable What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. . Paul? The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. "Oh, One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Question Man". A: Head and shoulders. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Next. A: Deep freeze. A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. The answer: "Sis boom bah." Wikizero - Carnac the Magnificent A: High rollers. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. . Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? A: O'Hare. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive A: Pussy Willow. seen them before. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. up your turban. Zippo? A: Executive action. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44.
No comments.